Titles Are For Cats
- Saksham Sahni
- Nov 14, 2017
- 3 min read
It was a dark and cold night in Gotham, nothing out of the blue. Crime was at an all time low thanks to Batman being his ultimate best since the death of Jason, the first Robin, who died a brutal death at the hands of the Joker who was locked up in Arkham now.
"It’s too quiet Alfred," Batman says to his earpiece under his breath. All of a sudden he hears a cry in the alley, a dark alley similar to the one where his parents died all those years ago. Bruce snaps back to reality and stares at a figure dressed in red and black infront of him.
The dual katanas on his back resembled Slade Wilson, but Slade was presumed dead ever since the Green Arrow had left him stranded on an island.
"Really now? You make me teleport to this city, this ;the figure stops and looks under his boots to find poop sticking to it . What the *** . It’s a pg page pool what are you doing?" The figure rambles on to himself as Batman approaches cautiously.
Batman asks Alfred to run a scan as he approaches the entity. "Who are you?" Batman asks in a deep voice which is muffled by the voice modifier.
"Me, broooo how have you not heard about the a drum rolls all of a sudden * merc with the mouth * ??? "
Batman just stares ; he’s seen a lot of crazies but this is freaky even by Gotham standards. But he keeps his cool and just walks closer.
The entity goes on in a bubbly tone, "I’m wade mother clucking Wilson but my homies call me..." He signals to the sky and on cue there is drum roll . Batman is freaking out just a bit by this point but he keep his eyes fixed and listens on.
"I’m dead pool." He lifts his hands in a peace sign of sorts. The wade guy goes on and says, "You my Friend are batsy bats. The caped crusader, the dark knight. You are batman, oh also known as Brucey Wayne."
Bruce is shook . His muscles tense and he tells Alfred under his breath to search for a Wade Wilson or deadpool. He needs information.
Deadpool goes on to say, "You Brucey are gonna die because the “fans” want to see a Marvel vs DC fight for some reason."
Batman goes into damage control mode, he thinks to himself, "Fans? DC vs Marvel? Either this guy is crazy or he knows more than I ever will."
"You talk too much Wade," Batman says coldly and punches Deadpool right in the nose. He hears his bones crack from the impact. Deadpool falls over into a puddle of water.
"That ducking hurt you ducker." But the next moment he gets right back up . Oh by the way Bruce I have a healing factor he says with sarcasm . Batman smiles and thinks to himself that he won’t need to hold his punches anymore. Batman kicks deadpool right in the chest which causes him to fall over Deadpool brings out his swords and leaps onto Batman, Batman side-steps him, picks him up and throws him against the wall and drops a smoke pellet .
Batman uses his grappling hook to put some distance between himself and deadpool. He reaches the top of the building, and Batman is using his night vision to track deadpool’s movements.
Suddenly the dead silent night is pierced with a car screeching and the Bat Mobile is there , Batman smiles as the bat mobile unleashes its weaponry.
Deadpool looks at the approaching vehicle and and sighs, "I had chimichangas for lunch you idiot." He looks at Batman and decides it’s too much .
Bruce Wayne’s body lies with a hole in the chest and his cape is missing.
Deadpool is wearing Batman’s cape. He’s eating chimichangas.
"I’m the Batpool."
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